


Everything I Wanted

by waveybabey



Series: What the Water Gave Me [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Awesome Sarah Rogers, Bladder Control, Bladder shy, Christmas, Desperation, Established Relationship, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I'm Sorry, Kinda, Kink Discovery, Kinks, M/M, No Smut, Omorashi, POV Steve Rogers, POV Third Person, Paruresis, Pee, Pee shy, Piss kink, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Present Tense, Shy Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Has Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve helps, Student Steve Rogers, Student Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, big time, except in tony's head, full bladder, pee desperation, pissing, shy bladder, so many feelings, so much plot in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22044094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveybabey/pseuds/waveybabey
Summary: Tony ducks into the bathroom, and as soon as he’s out of sight, Steve’s hand reaches down to grip at his cock to keep it from leaking. He can’t tell if his underwear is wet or if he’s imagining it. He squirms in place for a moment, bobbing up and down to get his bladder under control. It wants release now, and even though he knows standing outside the door means he’ll be able to hear Tony going, he can’t help but wait there to be let inside.Steve can’t stop moving his legs the whole time Tony is in there. His jiggling them both furiously, anything to stop the pee from coming out in his pants. He can’t help but think about how long he’s been holding now — thirteen hours? Fourteen? Oh, god, he’s just dying to go, now. His bladder feels full and round in his abdomen, and he’s at home, the one place he’s absolutely comfortable peeing.He hears the toilet flush and the sink turn on, and he doesn’t hesitate. He swings open the bathroom and then slams it shut behind him, stumbling over to the toilet. He barely notices Tony’s shocked face in his rush, and Tony doesn’t even get to say anything before Steve is pulling his dick out and pissing full force into the toilet.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: What the Water Gave Me [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1478516
Comments: 30
Kudos: 160





	Everything I Wanted

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo this was supposed to be out in time for Christmas, but it wasn't, so here's a New Years gift instead? I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to anyone who has left a comment on any parts of this, reading your comments is what motivates me to write a new part. Thank you for reading my weird, kinky, angsty, fluffy, sometimes smutty series that I didn't even expect to be as long as it is - this is part nine? What? 
> 
> Also SPOILER but the next part is the part where Steve finds out about Tony's kink, as long as everything goes to plan and I don't randomly think of a completely separate plot in the meantime. So, look forward to that in the new year!

Steve knows something is wrong when Tony doesn’t show up for dinner. He’s gotten better at not losing himself completely in his engineering lab work, and he never, _ever_ misses a date with Steve. It’s something his dad does to his mom, which Tony hates, so he tries really hard to be on time to every date and remember every anniversary and holiday for Steve.

Steve had found out about this on their six-month anniversary, when Tony had shown up to dinner fifteen minutes late and nearly crying while spilling apologies. Steve had actually forgotten what the date was, but Tony was a complete mess at the thought of missing their date or even being a little bit late. Steve had worked it out of him that he had this bizarre fear from watching his parents fight about it. He’s petrified of becoming an asshole like his father (Tony’s words, not Steve’s).

So, all this to say, it’s concerning when Tony doesn’t show up to dinner. It isn't a planned date or anything, but Tony had said earlier that he'd be at dinner. Steve checks his phone five times to make sure he didn’t miss a text from his boyfriend. He heads to the engineering lab after eating, with a to-go bag of Tony’s favorites. Sure enough, Tony is there, and he’s hammering away at some piece of metal. Loud rock music blaring across the lab and there are no other students here.

Steve’s chest tightens at the sight; he knows all the signs of Tony going through something. And this means something big. And he has a feeling he knows what it’s about, too, considering the timing. 

He quietly approaches Tony’s phone, not Tony himself, because he’s still holding that hammer and swinging at the metal like it had done something personal to him. He switches off the music, and now he can hear the way Tony is heaving sobs. Tony blinks in shock at the sudden silence, his head swinging around to look at Steve. His eyes are red rimmed and swollen, his face twisted into an angry frown, but that melts when he connects eyes with Steve. The hammer is dropped onto the table and Tony slides to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs and pressing his face into his knees.

Steve doesn’t waste a second. He tosses the to-go bag of food from the dining hall on a workbench and slips off his backpack, and then he sits on the ground next to Tony and pulls him close into a hug. Tony shifts slightly to hide his face in Steve’s shoulder instead of his knees, but other than that, he doesn’t move.

“Why does my father hate me?” Tony finally asks after awhile, and Steve’s heart breaks. He doesn’t know the answer, he _can’t possibly_ know the answer, because his whole world revolves around Tony at this point. He loves this small, brunette genius so much that he can’t comprehend anyone hating him, let alone the man who is _supposed to_ love and protect him. 

“I don’t know,” Steve murmurs, and lets Tony cry into his shoulder for another few minutes. When Tony pulls away, he looks no better than before, just numb.

“I’m not invited to Christmas,” Tony says eventually, after several more moments of silence. His voice is carefully detached, like he’s speaking about someone else. “Apparently I’m too much of an embarrassment to Father’s friends, and I’ll have to stay on campus or make other plans. Mother didn’t even bother apologizing for him this time.”

Even through the mask, Steve can see the hurt and pain Tony is feeling. He wants so badly for his father to be proud of him, but Howard will never see past his own jealousy. Steve just wishes Tony could understand that, one day.

“Come to my house,” Steve says quietly, earnestly. “My mom already loves you.”

Tony blinks at him, shock crossing his features. “Your mom barely knows me. She ate dinner with all of us in the dining hall, once, and that was before we were together.”

“Yeah, but...” Steve is turning red, he can feel his cheeks heating. “She could tell I liked you. And she told me she approved.”

Tony just blinks at him again, before a shaky smile appears on his face. “You mean it? I can stay in your house for winter break? The whole time?”

“Yeah, of course,” Steve says. “Just send Ma your favorite foods, and she’ll make ‘em. It’ll be you, me, her, and the Barnes family.”

Tony throws himself at Steve, and luckily they're still sitting on the floor, because Steve barely manages to catch him in time. Steve doesn’t say anything, but he can feel his shoulder getting wet with tears again.

“Steve?” Tony whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

* * *

It’s about a six hour total travel time to take the train from their school in Boston to their homes in Brooklyn. Bucky and Steve had done this several times before and were used to it, but it’s Tony’s first time on the train, _ever._

“This is the best Christmas vacation I’ve ever had!” Tony declares, not even ten minutes into their journey. Steve smiles at his boyfriend's bouncing excitement and flushed cheeks. He’s so glad he invited him.

Bucky had complained about Tony tagging along for a little while after Steve told him Tony was coming, but once Steve explained _why_ Tony had to come, Bucky was 100% on board. Tony is Bucky’s friend as well, and Bucky is fiercely protective of his friends. Steve wouldn’t be surprised if Howard Stark got a punch delivered to his face in the form of Bucky’s fist in the near future. Not that he would support that behavior. 

The train ride is rather boring, though, once you’re into it, and Bucky falls asleep once they’re on the main train to New York. Steve and Tony chat for a bit, but Steve is soon nodding off — he’d been up early that morning to finish an art project that he had to hand in just an hour before their train left.

He can’t remember falling asleep, but he must have, because he wakes up hours later when the sun has gone down outside. Tony is asleep against his shoulder, and Bucky is awake and playing a game on his phone. Steve sits up a little straighter, trying his best not to wake Tony as he does, and winces a little at his full bladder. That's the problem with getting up earlier, he sometimes forgets to empty his bladder twice in the morning. He usually pees as soon as he wakes up, and he can last until before bed as long as he doesn’t get up too early. But if he does, he needs to remember to pee before he leaves his dorm as well.

And, that morning, of course, he forgot. He was rushing to get his last project in before he, Bucky and Tony left for the train station, and he completely forgot to pee before he left his dorm. His bladder had still pretty empty from when he’d emptied it after waking up at six in the morning to put the finishing touches on the project, so he didn’t even think about it. It’s nearly six in the evening, now, and it’s been close to twelve hours since Steve last took a piss. And he’s definitely feeling it now. He bladder is throbbing demandingly in his abdomen, a light pulse every other second. He checks his watch; there’s only a half-hour left on this train.

Bucky and Steve quietly chat for awhile before Tony wakes up. He blinks sleepily at Steve before quietly requesting a sip of water. As Steve reaches for the bottle, he winces at the sound of the water sloshing inside. Bucky gives him a sympathetic look, recognizing the sign of Steve’s desperation after years of friendship. But he knows there’s nothing to be done until Steve is home, so he doesn’t say anything. Talking about it always makes Steve even more uncomfortable.

It makes Steve’s anxiety flare slightly to know that Bucky can tell he has to pee — which means Tony can probably tell as well — but he’s gotten good at letting that thought cross his mind and then go away again. His therapist tells him to allow thoughts like that to pass, don’t try to stop them but also make a conscious decision not to dwell on them. It’s the best advice Steve has ever gotten for his anxiety.

“Are we almost there?” Tony asks, handing the water back to Steve. He takes it, and tries not to squirm as he puts it back in his bag.

“About ten minutes,” Bucky informs. “And then we switch trains.”

The ten minutes pass quickly, luckily, and soon enough they’re boarding the smaller train from Penn Station to Brooklyn. This train ride is less than an hour, and Steve feels a little better at a time frame for his bladder. Though his stomach does clench nervously at the thought that Tony will be in his house, too, which means he might not be able to go.

Except, the thought of peeing where Tony could possibly hear him going doesn't fill him with dread anymore. He knows about Steve’s issue, and he doesn’t mind working around it, which lessens Steve’s anxiety an enormous amount. So Steve thinks, maybe, he'll be able to go while Tony's in the next room. But he'll just have to see when he gets there. 

“Good thing we’re almost there,” Tony says once they’re seated. “I could go for a piss and I can’t wait to be off these uncomfortable seats.”

Something inside Steve jolts at Tony’s easy admission that he needs to pee. He’s not sure if it’s jealousy or something... else.

“You could have gone at the station,” Steve says, voice only a little wobbly. He’d give anything to be able to use that bathroom.

“Nah, I’ll just hold it,” Tony says, smiling a little at Steve. “Public restrooms are always disgusting.”

Steve smiles at Tony in return. He’s noticed that Tony has been refusing to use public bathrooms lately, especially when he knows Steve has to go. If he’s desperate enough, he’ll head off to one, of course, but he’ll send Steve an adorable apologetic look. Steve appreciates the gesture; he doesn’t feel so alone knowing that Tony is holding with him. He doesn’t really care how weird that is.

The ride flies by, even with Steve’s full bladder. Bucky and Steve entertain Tony with stories of past Christmases spent together. It became a tradition for the Barnes to spend the holidays with the Rogers family, ever since Steve’s dad passed and Bucky’s dad ran out on his family. Their moms tag-teamed the holiday to make it a little easier, and Steve and Bucky got the added benefit of spending Christmas together. They have plenty of stories to tell Tony, and he’s laughing along with all of them, but Steve can’t help but notice that Tony offers no stories of his own. He knows Tony was raised a lot differently than him, knows that his family dinners were quiet and uncomfortable, not boisterous and enjoyable. But he hates moments like this, when that difference shows in Tony’s strained smile, his hurting eyes.

He can also see that Tony is nervous — he’s twisting his fingers together and one of his legs is shaking side to side and hitting Steve’s knee every so often. He’s reassured Tony a hundred times over that his mom will love him, his mom _already does_ love him, but not even that will stop Tony’s own brain telling him that he’s not enough. Steve just has to be patient and wait for his mom to show Tony that she thinks he’s as perfect as Steve does. Well, maybe not quite as perfect.

Steve almost forgets that he needs to pee until their train arrives and they’re getting off. Gravity hits his bladder as he stands, and he has to pause a minute to get it under control. After he does, he sees Tony watching him, and he feels his cheeks flush.

They all walk together the rest of the way; Bucky lives a few houses down from Steve on the same street. Steve’s mom had wanted to meet them at the station, but he’d asked her not to. He had an inkling Tony would be nervous, and he was right.

Each step jolts Steve’s bladder. He’s really getting desperate now, and he’s worried he’s not going to be able to hold it. Tony and Bucky are chatting as they walk, but Steve is mostly focusing on holding it together long enough to get home.

They reach Bucky’s house first, and they say goodbye even though Bucky will probably be over Steve’s house tomorrow. They catch a glimpse of the Barnes family — Bucky’s mom and his three younger sisters — pulling him into a huge hug. Steve smiles at the sight, and waves to Mrs. Barnes. He doesn’t stop to say hello, though, both because he knows he’ll see them all soon enough and because he _really really has to pee._

He knows that Tony can tell he has to pee. He’s not being very covert about it anymore, now that it’s just them. He just wants to get home and to the toilet as quickly as possible. But he’s grateful that Tony doesn’t try to comment on it.

Steve lives four houses down from Bucky, so it doesn’t take them much longer to reach his house. His ma is standing on the front porch waiting for them, bouncing up and down in excitement and because it’s below twenty degrees and she’s in her slippers.

“Ma,” Steve scolds as he breaks away from Tony to jog up the stairs and wrap his mother in a hug. “Put some real shoes on, you’re going to freeze.”

“Oh, hush,” Ma waves him off. She hugs him tight for a few seconds before pulling away and turning to Tony. He’s still standing where Steve left him, a few steps away from the porch steps. He’s fiddling with his bag anxiously, and Steve aches to reach out and reassure him, but his mom has that covered.

She bounds down the stairs and wraps Tony in a hug the same way she’d wrapped up Steve a second ago. Steve really wasn’t kidding when he said his mom already loved Tony. And as a nurse in a children’s hospital, she has learned many skills — she could see a child in need of parental love a mile away, for example, and Tony was a textbook example of that.

Tony’s cheeks go pink, and he turns wide eyes on Steve, but he’s got a smile growing on his face and his arms are tight around Steve’s mom when he returns the hug. She pulls back after a moment and fusses over him, fixes his hair and tightens his scarf.

“Was the train okay? Steve said you hadn’t ridden it before, I hope you didn’t get motion sick or anything,” Ma says, bustling Tony up the porch stairs and into the house. “And I hope you’re okay sleeping with Steve in his bed — it’s a bit small, but we don’t have a guest bed and the couch is just awfully lumpy. I made some chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner if either of you are hungry. You probably are after all that traveling, right? Oh, Tony, you’re so thin, you must eat something. And Steve, you too! Have you lost weight, honey? If you don’t want chicken, we have canned soup, or bread and meat for sandwiches, or-“

“Mom,” Steve interrupts, smiling a bit at her mother-henning. “Chicken and potatoes sounds great. But I think we should put our stuff down first, and get settled.”

Tony nods along, his cheeks still a dull pink. He looks a bit overwhelmed, but he’s still smiling a little, eyes wandering over the pictures of Steve when he was younger and old art projects on the walls.

“Oh, right, sorry!” Ma laughs a little. “I’m just excited to have you home, I suppose. The house gets lonely.”

Steve frowns a little at that. “You know you could always go see-“

“The Barnes, yes I know, and I do,” his ma reassures. “But it’s not the same as having you home, Stevie.”

She heads over to give him another hug, before pushing him in the direction of his room. Steve leads Tony down the thin hallway and into his bedroom. His room is quite small and simple, just a full-sized bed against the far wall and a desk in front of the window on the left wall. There’s a dresser against the right wall, leaving barely any room between it and the bed. Steve had taken most of what he had with him to school, so it’s rather empty as well. But the walls have all sorts of paintings on them; his ma had let him do whatever he wanted to the walls. He’d been painting on them since middle school, and just kept painting over old pictures to create new ones. He has a few ones planned for while he’s home for winter break.

“Oh, wow,” Tony says when he sees the walls. “This is beautiful, Steve. Can you do up my dorm room like this?”

“I don’t think that’s allowed,” Steve snorts. He sets his suitcase against his bed, and reaches for Tony’s to put it next to his own. He shifts from one foot to the other; he’s got no issue letting Tony look around but his bladder is practically screaming at him to empty it. He’s already leaked into his pants once, and he really doesn’t want that to turn into anything worse.

Tony eyes his bed. “Your mom said a full was small? Does she know we share the twins at school?”

“Probably,” Steve says, distracted. “Hey, I have to-“

“Oh, where’s your bathroom? I have to pee,” Tony interrupts, turning back from where he was studying one of the pictures Steve had painted last year, an image of Tony creating robots.

“It’s, uh, across the hall,” Steve says, conveniently not mentioning his own need. Tony ducks into the bathroom, and as soon as he’s out of sight, Steve’s hand reaches down to grip at his cock to keep it from leaking. He can’t tell if his underwear is wet or if he’s imagining it. He squirms in place for a moment, bobbing up and down to get his bladder under control. It wants release now, and even though he knows standing outside the door means he’ll be able to hear Tony going, he can’t help but wait there to be let inside.

Steve can’t stop moving his legs the whole time Tony is in there. His jiggling them both furiously, anything to stop the pee from coming out in his pants. He can’t help but think about how long he’s been holding now — thirteen hours? Fourteen? Oh, god, he’s just dying to go, now. His bladder feels full and round in his abdomen, and he’s _at home_ , the one place he’s absolutely comfortable peeing.

He hears the toilet flush and the sink turn on, and he doesn’t hesitate. He swings open the bathroom and then slams it shut behind him, stumbling over to the toilet. He barely notices Tony’s shocked face in his rush, and Tony doesn’t even get to say anything before Steve is pulling his dick out and pissing full force into the toilet. And it’s so good; he doesn’t even have to wait for his brain to be comfortable enough to let go, he just does. His whole body relaxes, shoulders slumping, mind going blank.

He pees for probably a full minute — _oh, he had been so full_ — before the stream finally trickles off and he can tuck his cock back into his pants. The embarrassment doesn’t hit until he looks up and sees Tony’s surprised face, complete with beet red cheeks and an open mouth. The faucet is still on, and Tony’s hands are under it — he’d been washing his hands when Steve busted in and he’d just paused and never finished.

“Uh, sorry,” Steve says, feeling his face heat up a little. “I really had to go, I couldn’t wait.”

Tony just blinks at him for awhile before finally closing his mouth. Then he says, “No, you’re fine! You’re good. I’m glad you could, um, go. While I was here. I’ll just, uh, finish up so you can wash your hands then. Yep.”

Tony turns back to the sink and washes his hands quickly. He steps back to dry them on a hand towel, and Steve steps forward to wash his own. That’s when it hits Steve — he just peed while Tony was in the bathroom with him. He didn’t worry about it, didn’t even think about it; he just walked in and peed like he was completely alone and had nothing to worry about.

“Wow,” Steve says. “I love you.”

And maybe it’s weird to say that in the bathroom of Steve’s house, but he can’t help it. He’s just done something totally monumental; he hasn’t voluntarily peed with someone else in the room or even within hearing distance in — ever? He, possibly, hasn’t ever done that before now.

“I love you too,” Tony says. His cheeks are still pink but he smiling at Steve in the mirror. “I’m proud of you.”

Steve flushes at the words, but he nods. Because he’s proud of himself, too.

* * *

Steve’s therapist is elated when he tells her. She mentions that maybe he’s made some sort of breakthrough and he’ll be able to use public restrooms one day, but Steve isn’t really holding out for that. He’s just glad he’s comfortable enough to pee in front of his boyfriend.

Not that he’s doing it while Tony’s in the room all the time. It’s enough to just know that Tony’s in the next room and he can still pee, even though Tony might be able to hear it through the wall. He still gets anxious about it most of the time, and his brain stops him from going, but he can talk himself into relaxing now. Before, if Tony (or anyone) was anywhere near enough to be able to hear him going, Steve would lock up and not unlock until he knew he was alone. Now, he can slowly relax his muscles and let go.

Though, he does try one more time to pee while Tony is in the bathroom with him. Just to test it; maybe the first time he was just _really_ desperate. So one day, while Tony is in the shower, Steve sneaks into the bathroom to pee. He’s full, but not bursting, and it takes him a minute before he’s able to go, but he does. Tony doesn’t say anything, but Steve joins him in the shower afterward since his mom isn’t home, and he smiles at Steve before offering to suck him off. Overall, it's a great reaction.

It’s the best Christmas gift Steve could’ve asked for from himself, really.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish


End file.
